Iron Bear Met His Match

Our mode of transportation for the last 3.5 years has been the silver beast we have dubbed the Iron Bear.  It's a 2007 Ford 15 Passenger E350 XLT and has been a saint all this time.  Unfortunately on 2/23/13 between 3 and 3:30AM the Iron Bear suffered irreversible damage just south of Albany in the town of Selkirk. 

On Friday 2/22/13 we  played a show in Albany with our new buddies Mordwolf.  At this show we made new buddies with the opening band, Slaughterhouse Choir. Mordwolf is like a high energy  Misfits/Motorhead cocktail while Slaughterhouse is a shot of metal Trail of the Dead meets Supersuckers.  Anyways Chris from Slaughterhouse offered his place to crash at for the night before heading down to Philly, which was awesome.  All in all an extremely normal night. Less than a minute from Chris's house I, Squeeze, fell asleep at the wheel just enough where we side swiped a tree and went off into a small ditch of this one lane road surrounded by houses.  Upon impact I immediately awoke with glass shattering everywhere and utter confusion.  Two seconds before me and Carly were in conversation.  It was such an unbelievable situation. How can this happen? Why? Is everyone ok? A million questions rush into your head.

So this is how the remaining hours played out.  The impact was on the front passenger side where Spydyr likes to sleep.  His door was jammed shut and the emergency help had to pry the door off to get him out.  Catastrophe wanted to get his leg checked out so him and Spydyr jumped into the ambulence and Blackey stayed with them and rode to the hospital.  Me and Carly stayed behind emptying the equipment out of the van onto the side of the road.  In addition, it was freezing out so me and Carly threw blankets over ourselves to stay warm while loading Chris's car to bring the equipment to his house. Chris had to make multiple trips. In the middle of all this the Iron Bear was dragged away. 

The police officer that oversaw this situation was so nice and extremely helpful.  What ended up happening was that the last speaker cabinet was put in the back seat of the police car.  Carly sat on my lap on the other half of the police car and that's when I learned we were literally around the block from Chris's house.  After all the equipment was loaded into Chris's house we headed to the hospital to check up on Catastrophe and Spydyr and as expected Spydyr was sleeping. We then began organizing multiple rides to move the equipment from Albany to Long Island.  We were all home with the equipment by 7.

There are so many lessons to be learned from this experience.  I can't help but think everything happens for a reason. If we were destined to total our vehicle this would have been the most ideal situation.  No one was injured, no property damage, no arrests and we actually made $2K on the total loss. I can't impress on people enough that being in a touring band is dangerous.  You are constantly putting yourself in not the best situations.  You do this because you have to because you want to succeed bad enough because the rewards are worth it because you're up for the challenge because you love your band/music and everything that comes with it.  But don't think it can't end in one not so good decision.  But you can do things to help yourself out.

1. Be street smart: Drugs are never free on the street and don't loan a stranger money
2. Don't chill with strangers in their car in the middle of nowhere especially after you see a trunk of guns and beer
3. Don't take a room/ride from a stranger after they open the door and fast food and empty beer cans fall out of it
4. Keep an eye on the local weirdos in the bar, don't feel weird telling them not to touch your equipment
5. Stay together. Bandmates shouldn't be dissapearing  by themselves in bumblefuck NC
6. GET SLEEP! Choose someone to be first driver when leaving the venue if you really have to make time on the road, otherwise, bring blankets and just sleep in the car.  It might be uncomfortable but would you rather wake up dead
7. Listen to suggestions of the locals. If they tell you not to travel certain roads or stay out of certain areas then stay out. Zombie apocalypse gas stations in the woods not cool!
8. Stay low key. If you have to stop in a weird area to gas up or get some food. Make it quick and don't be obnoxious. You're outnumbered.
9. If people ask you to makeout with their significant other in front of them. Just don't.
10. Introduce yourself and be cool with everyone in the venue and you will have respect and a personal bodyguard
11. Drinking and rocking is great, BUT: drinking, drinking, drinking, drinking, strip club, drinking, strip club, rocking = f'ed up ankle for the rest of the tour
12. If a homeless person harrases you for handouts when you're trying to sleep in the van give candy. Snacks are just as important as money

BAND CODE!!! (In all seriousness take these points and understand them because all sorts of shit comes up when touring. Touring is fun until hospitals and police get involved.)